"So here my journal begins, on a Tuesday nite when it's quiet at work. This day is dragging, like some kind of psychadelic iguana, dragging it's lazy carcass over some neon rock"
With these auspicious words, so began my one hundred and one reasons why I hate existence, just over a full year ago.
Psychadelic drug references not withstanding, it was a fairly ordinary entry by a disgruntled worker who just wanted to go home.
I've often thought about the final entry in this journal, and the words it would contain. I also expected to be a different person, a more evolved man sitting by the keyboard scratching his head, thinking of something funny to say.
A man profoundly moved and changed by his experiences over the course of a year. He would be older, wiser and have a fully stocked bar at home.
But before I continue down this path, lets recap for those of you just joining us...
My name's Jim. I'm a man looking at the world through dark glasses and a kaleidescope.
For the last year, I've used this blog to record my thoughts on the distorted reality I see around me every day. Some of it has been quirky and funny, some of it has not.
So far, I've faced threatening teenage girls with neon claws, tried to quit smoking once, squared off against Bea Arthur in a scissor fight, worn some cranky pants, seen the ghost of Gwen Stefani, been mauled by Jesus, bought a new phone, found a comfy chair, been afraid of Ikea, contemplated the meaninglessness of relationships and my own existence and even found the time to stalk Kelly Clarkson.
So it's been a wild ride. A wild, painful, emotional, exhilirating, nauseating, glorious ride.
This last post also coincides with my last day at Foxtel, the job I have been at for the better part of two years. In essence, my family.
Yesterday was a tremendous day, filled with vast quantities of confectionery and many heartfelt goodbyes. Still I cant bring myself to come to terms with the loss. To quite completely fathom the end of that place.
So right now, I'm caught in constant flashback mode, my memories of the last twelve months forming a giant collage in my head. A collage of random memories and fleeting moments when I understand what it is to be human. Waking up next to a loved one, a comfortable silence with a dear friend, hollowing out a pumpkin for my very first Halloween.
I'll take that collage and put it in a macaroni frame. I'll hang it on my wall and look at it whenever the sky gets dark or the walls start closing in too much.
Merely another time in my life when one chapter ends, and another begins.
So now I look at the man who sits typing this entry at lightning speed. Who is he? Where has he been? How has he been changed? All questions that come to me at the end of this journey, on the last page of this book.
Is a man changed by his experiences? Does he learn from them? Will he ever surrender?
I'm astounded at how, fundamentally, I have changed so little. I'm still a spikey haired loser. Still just as confused about my place in the world as the rest of y'all. Still not allowed to use any kitchen appliances without adult supervision.
Maybe I've just learned to accept these things more.
I wish I could write a proper ending to this story, preferably a happy one. I wish I could write an action packed ending with a car chase and some explosions and lots of bikini clad waitresses pouring condiments over hot dogs.
I wish I could close this book and never want to revisit it again. Have no regrets. But life isnt like that, and while we always take the most important lessons with us on our journey, we often leave others behind.
So this is goodbye to all that. I'm bravely off to to try and walk the road, and maybe someday it will take me back here. I'm not sure. I've accepted a job as a courier, so if you ever wondering what I'm doing (and lets face it - you will), know that I'll be immersed in the fast paced world of package delivery, wearing nothing but a crooked smile and a baseball cap.
Thank you to all of my friends and loved ones who have been a part of my life in some form or another over the last year. Without you, my blog would be like a story with no characters (even though I'm pretty much a one man show most days anyway!)
Thank you to all of you who have been reading over the last year.
It's meant a lot to me that you've tuned in week after week. I hope I had the chance to make you laugh, and maybe, if only a couple of times, make you think. Stick with me, I'll be back soon.
I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing.
Peace on your journeys, and remember to stay off the west side.
(Custodian / Caretaker)