Wednesday, July 06, 2005

009: THE PROBLEM WITH STEPHANIE

Dear fellow bloggers,

God has sent one of his avenging angels to this earth to annoy me, as a sort of punishment for all the terrible things I've done in my leather coated existence.

She comes in mini-form - blonde hair - sweet little lady smile.

One word: NEUROTIC

The microsoft word thesaurus lists the following synonyms for the word, all of which I've explained to Steph. She was mortified and told Soumbie my boss.

They include:

Anxious
Fearful
Phobic
Fixated
Hung-Up
Disturbed
Irrational
Obsessed

You see poor little Steph sits at the desk across from me, her tiny frame in a constant state of anxiety.

Every time I ask her a question, she gives me this 'look'. As if I've just severed my own arm, or flopped my penis out onto the desk. It's a balance between "I hate you" and "Your arms are too long for your body"

Plus she says hello to me.

Not just ANY hello

But the wide eyed, hand waving "Hello!!". And when she does that her eyes are are really wide, and I can see the white bits.

I read somehere that if you can see the white bits in someone's eyes, they're mad.

Well I'm betting a fortnight's pay that she'll bring a gun into work one day and mow us all down.

Oh Steph, this posting is an ode to you, and your furry jackets that you love so.

Maybe one day you'll find some semblance of stability.

Right now she's threatening to cry cause she knows I'm writing about her - I think I'll leave it at that.

the end

2 Comments:

Blogger izchan said...

Be weary my friend, I once had a friend that fits that exact profile.

They are a dangerous breed.

I often wonder how in name of god does a person have that kind of smile? I mean, it goes from one end to another.

And yes, they always get to us by their hello's.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Charlietheyank said...

Well... I guess either you avoid her or get her mentally examined.. or the 3rd option she likes you so much she hates you,One of my employees was like that he spat it out in my face that he used to like me so much it ended up being hatred ..

5:28 PM  

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