Friday, July 15, 2005

013: THE TRAUMATIC EVENTS OF YESTERDAY

Something terrible happened yesterday - I forgot my CDs.

They're like my lifeblood in the car, in fact, as much as I love my car - It just aint worth driving without the CD player blaring on my way to work.

Abandoned, alone, and running too late to go back home and get em, I was left with little choice but to subject myself to commercial radio.

One word: Painful.

I usually avoid commercial radio like the plague. Those repetitive songs. Those shockingly broad Australian accents which make my ears bleed.

I kept channel surfing between our 3 major stations. First stop: Snoop Dogg and Justin Timberlake. You know, I have no problem with JT, but after all these years I'm really getting sick 'n' tired of his genderbending antics. All that whining falsetto, for God's sake be a man and grow some balls!

My next stop brought Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani.

Without a doubt one of the most uninspired tracks of the year from an equally uninspired and insipid album. I'll always consider Gwen one of the biggest sellouts of our generation. No Doubt rocked hard, they had oodles of rock cred, a best selling back catalogue and Gwen still had a stomach.

I'm waiting for the day when that tiny peroxide muppet will get back to making real music instead of the reheated faux r'n'b she's been serving up lately.

Then last but not least we have Nelly. Another one of those stagnant ballads where there's some Ho singing the verses and Nelly weaves in and out with his illeterate style rap. And where the hell are the rest of that guy's teeth?

I pride myself on the fact that most of my favourite artists (Muse, Bjork, Air) arent played on Australian radio. It'd be too much for the common Aussie Idiot to handle. In this country we celebrate the conventional, the mundane (Delta sre you listening? Your days are numbered).

I vow to spend the rest of my life riling against this mentality.

So needless to say I arrived at work (late) in a fairly bad mood, having smoked 4 cigarettes because of the stress caused.

Now of course today has started off in a smiliarly bad fashion. Plus Steph has been really, REALLY annoying. I've threatened to kill her in her sleep in the most undignified manner - suffocating her with a pillow.

Sleep tight Stephanie.


the end.

2 Comments:

Blogger izchan said...

I think your in love with steph.
Hate is a very strange master.
Its fickle too.
Life often ends up parring us with that which irritates us most.

Be weary.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

You make a valid point mate, except I've been a homosexual for many years now, so I doubt it would work.

There would be some logistical problems :-)

11:14 AM  

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