Monday, July 18, 2005

014: A WEEKEND WEARING THE CRANKY PANTS

You know that feeling when you're at a party full of teenagers, music is pounding and you're hunched over in someone's laundry before a red plastic bucket, vomiting violently, thinking "Oh God, I'm never drinking again!!"

That's sorta what most of yesterday was like for me. Not QUITE so traumatic, because it's very different when you've been stoned.

Recovering from my saturday night pot smoking challenge (issued by Lincoln of all people), I found that when driving down the highway, my car had learned to glide several inches above the ground as opposed to it's traditional method of rolling on it's four wheels.

In short, it was just still in my system.

So I got home, tried to eat something and relax, only to find my family in spring cleaning mode!!

Now I love my folks, but tidy they are not.

I'm the only tidy one!! In fact my mum complains that my room smells like a hospital on account of all the Spray 'N' Wipe I use on... well... everything.

So they're all buzzing about, and here I am feeling like some sort of igneous rock. Motionless. Inanimate. Dazed.

THEN I wanted a shower. What a wonderful thought. Even now. You know there are so many great things about showers!

1) You get to be naked.
2) Shampoo & Conditioner - nuff said.
3) Getting to lather shower gel in your pubes.
4) You can shave (whatever it is you shave) in the warmth and comfort of the shower.
5) There's a rubber duck in my shower.
and
6) Showers can be heaps of fun if you're trying to save water and sharing it with another person who is all wet, soapy and naked also. Mmmmm....

Sorta feel like a shower now :-)

Anyway, my point is that I couldnt have a shower cause my dad (In cleaning mode) had decided to paint it. "No showers today and tomorrow" he announces, with no regard for my feelings (or my vanity)

To top things off, I may have mentioned this, my sister has ruined my DVD player.
So it's in the shop now, getting repaired. Oh the searing, agonising pain of not being able to watch the last few episodes of Star Trek Voyager Season 7, in surround sound.

Turns out I'm a very cranky man when I have my creature comforts removed.


the end.

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