Thursday, July 21, 2005

016: I'M SO HORNY I'M ANGRY!!!

I'm bonding with my mate Nick at the moment.

You know when you have common ground with people, and it creates a powerful bond?
Well we're both single and horny, which leads to rage.

Before anyone's filthy mind starts racing, Nick and I are just mates, and both of us are of different persuasions. So this isnt about how I wanna get together with Nick!!

Phew!!

Anyways, I havent been in a relationship for a while and I can only do so much by myself, so I'm starting to feel the sting.

The kind of sting that no 21 year old should ever feel. The need for intimacy - for me there are two sides:

The nice side craves human attention, to be cuddled and petted and have attention lavished upon me. Then to have someone naked walk into my bedroom, with a wad of cash in one hand, and a six pack of guiness in the other.

Then the naughty side wants to be filthy. To have sewaty, low-down-and-dirrty, lick you clean sex. That's a pretty primitive instinct. Once again another example of my caveman roots rearing their ugly head.

Ever hear that saying 'Men cry bullets'? It basically means that men (and this is just a generalisation) dont have the famale capacity to cry and sulk to deal with things. So we do and steal a car, or gun down a police officer to compensate.

So me 'n' Nicky are ready to head down to level 3 of our building and start a fight with all the people we hate.
First on my list, that camp guy who works in our cafeteria who accused me of "always being on drugs". Maybe I'll take five or six lines of speed then go and murder his family. See how funny that is then, eh?


the end.

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