Tuesday, July 26, 2005

019: DEATH TO PARKING INSPECTORS!

Ever think that some of life's problems would be easily solved if certain people were dead?

Right now I'm feeling that way about our local city council of Moonee Ponds.

You see my work doesnt have enough parking spaces for those of us who start after 9am, believe it or not. So the rest of us need to park on the street and often fall prey to the bloodthirsty, vindictive, quota-filling parking inspectors.

Firstly - the ticket machine is rarely working, the coin slot often jammed shut with ice-cream sticks by some ingenious school kid passing by.

Secondly - you know sometimes I dont have $4.50 in change to pay for the parking, so I usually run up to work then come and feed the meter in my first smoko. Still it aint enough! And who the fuck has $4.50 change just lying around every day??

So I head down to the bloody Civic Center, replete with beige interiors (and relatively beige employees). I fold out the fine and hand it to the lady at the counter who looks as if she has one foot in the grave. As I'm folding out the fine, what do I find??

You guessed it.

Another fine.

I ask if I can pay this next fortnight when I get paid. After all, I cant be pissing away all my money on parking fines! Apparently I need to put it in writing, so she hands me a scrap of paper and a pen.

There I sit, writing with this crude implement on the back of some ad for Viagra. I mean, why not just hand me a crayon??

Ugh!!

So it looks like I'll be back there next pay. Paying that decrepit old witch another $70.00 out of my hard earned money, just so she can sit there in her cushy government job and slowly die!!

Still things could be worse - Lollie's havin a hell of a time with her fuel pump in her car. It kicked the bucket last night on her way home. There was rain, tears and petrol soaked clothing.

For more on this breaking news story head over to

Sex Drugs & Call Centers


the end.

4 Comments:

Blogger Mel said...

Parking inspectors are scum. I hope they don't know my rego...

2:40 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Sorry Melly,
I just went down to the civic center and gave them your reg and home address :-)

3:32 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

I love taking the train.
I do not need to deal with parking inspectors ... :)

I made a decision a long time ago, it aint worth jail time dooching one of them.

4:58 AM  
Blogger Slim said...

No it's the tram inspectors that are the bane of my existence.

I'd glady serve a jail sentence for giving one of em a good push into the path of a semi-trailer or something.

11:17 AM  

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