Friday, August 05, 2005

025: TIGHTER THAN A NUN'S CUNT

Ladies and gentlemen it's Friday and by God it feels good.

I had a dreadful morning today, running late, chain smoking with rage that soon turned into that "I think I wanna cry" emotion.

Plus I got stuck behind three tanker trucks, one of which carried petrol. I tried flicking my cigarette towards it, but I'm afraid the wind thwarted my efforts to start a fire and kill several people.

Plus I had to pay another fine today, a whopping $79.80 that goes to our local city council.
I hope they all die in their sleep.

To me this is the sweetest part of the afternoon. Sorta like a Caramello Koala. That part where you sever both his legs to reveal his deliciously caramel-y belly. That's what right now is like.

In many ways this is sweeter than Saturday morning cartoons. Better than smoking cigarettes on the beach or throwing beer cans at seals.

I've been tempered by my workplace. My my click of Nick & Lollie (we're tighter than a nun's cunt, y'all). Plus I've been fed and also been paid, so much less cranky. Yet more evidence supporting that without my creature comforts I'm a pretty crochety individual.

I've been usuing the chocolate bar metaphor for people at work...

My mate Pierre (who's leaving next week) is a Mars bar. A hard, chocolatey exterior with a gooey caramel and nougat inside. See I'm very similar, except I'd be a Snickers. The difference is I have peanuts generously distributed through my equally gooey caramel interior.

Lollie is a Cherry Ripe, a pink booze filled interior. And Nick would have to be a Pollywaffle. Hard exterior, brittle wafers yet the softness and emotional security of marshmallows. Mmmmmm... marshmallows :-)

So with that, I'm off to embark on my exciting weekend.
Fuck writing this journal, I'm off to the vending machine!!!



the end.

PS: Lollie, I know you will be shocked and appaled at the title of today's entry - and that's why I did it :-)

5 Comments:

Blogger mocushile said...

I love the title as it describes my mood right NOW!!!!
and hey you'd be a honey comb chocolate.... soft sweet smooth and yummy.......

your biggest fan

8:15 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

LOL!
And you my precious would be Caramello, one of my all time favourites

I can never say no to Caramello
God I'm as weak as piss!

11:26 AM  
Blogger mocushile said...

mm Ilove caramello too...
but hey crunchie is my fav ice cream, my fav choc and my all time fav drink too.. hehhee... thats why I called u honey comb not to mentioned that u are soft and smooth just like crunchie.. tough on the outside but melts easy and never hurts yr teeth

9:35 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

bloody well written.
now get out of here and get laid.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Lollie_Pop said...

your right, I am shocked... shocked and tired :)

be careful, I may throw cats at you

11:52 AM  

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