Friday, August 12, 2005

027: THE LIFE & TIMES OF DANNY POWER

I realise it's been a few days, and I wouldnt dream of slacking off on my blog, but in my defence - I have been sick.

To let you all in on a secret, Danny Power is my attractive and suave alter-ego.
Well, he's not all that much more attractive than me, although he owns his own tuxedo and knows about insider trading.

In fact I've been thinking - once I reach the 101st reason why I hate existence, I might just rename this blog after Danny.

Being sick sucks, I've returned to work after two days of nausea and having flat hair. So I'm back today and with a vengeance. Plus, caving into outrageous demands, Lollie is back as well, spewing forth a tirade of not-so-drunken rage. She's sitting next to me extoling the virtues of her breasts as she furiously types away at the keyboard.

Right, I'm back after a lengthy mens room break (dont read too much into that).

In other news, I've decided to pick an extremely bad week (plagued by stress and ill health) to quit smoking. So many people have taken a long look at my baby face and asked

"So, how long have you been smoking?"

For so long I've been replying innocently "Only three or four months..." Until one day last week when I started to formulate a response and "Two years" came out of my mouth, like some horrible regurgitated revelation. Two years later and my 'baby face' aint so baby anymore. I look like a run down, unshaven young punk who is the owner of an angry web journal. And I can barely grow a beard!!

So the last few days have seen me braving the unknown with Nicorette, the chewing gum that also tastes like some sort of acetone based nailpolish remover (trust me, I know)

It isnt really the nicotine that I'm addicted to, it's just the habit. I mean what did I do with my life before smoking?? What did I do!?!?

But Danny Power doesnt smoke, so neither should I. Unless it's a cigar, then I look like a teenage pimp in an ill-fitting tee shirt. I can deal with that. Danny Power waers aftershave (not deodorant). Aftershave that people can smell and admire without it being obscured by the stifling scent of smoke.

Hopefully the absence of smoking will allow me to regain some semblance of my once boyish charm, or at least manage to turn some heads with my new aftershave.

Lollie is pre-reading my blog. That's like using the condowm while you're still at the 7 Eleven!! It's not on! Clearly I'm gonna have to turn my back to her. Clearly.



the end

2 Comments:

Blogger Lollie_Pop said...

I'm glad to have you back slim, your constant critism of yourself and fair trade (?) has been sorely missed.

and don't wory, to me you'll always be Danny Power. Suave, sofisticated and reeking of expensive aftershave :)

6:49 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

Mine is more like Ron Stoppable.

I yearn for Kim.

2:15 AM  

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