Saturday, August 13, 2005

028: MY SEXY ARSE NEW PHONE

Yes that's right, I have a sexy arse new phone! I never realised that a new piece of technology in my life could bring about so much (sexual) pleasure!

It's been a long time coming - the fate of my old phone was both mysterious and unexplained.
It happened on my birthday back in January. My faithful 8310 just - died.

Without warning, without reason, it just died. Sorta like a toddler who runs out onto the road and gets run over by a truck full of chickens. There was no pattern of logic to this.

So I'm out with all my closest allies at Bar With No Name - a favourite haunt of mine. My 8310 is lying in pieces between my pint of guiness and the ash tray. In my fury I had torn it apart, examining each and every little cheaply made component. Alas, my attempts to poke it, prod it, and generally repeat the same procedure repeatedly failed. My phone was gone.

So I started using a mate's spare. It was hideous people. Oh the horror at waiting almost a full 60 seconds for my inbox to open!!! Aaaaaagggghhhh!!!

I planned to use the spare for a month or so, until I could afford the luxury of a new mobile phone (I mean after all, I'm not exactly mister popularity).

One month quickly turned to 8, as I totalled my car, bought a new one, got a ridiculous amount of parking fines and increased my foreign debt substantially. Suffice it to say my money has been tied up.

Meanwhile the spare phone was really cutting into my image. People were no longer threatened by me cause all their phones were better. I still marvel at the mobile phone's unique place in society. Sort of like guys comparing penis sizes. Except here they compare the phones sleek exterior, or camera, or GPRS crap. Here length means nothing.

So now I have a new phone, courtesy of tax time and mister anderson.

So guess I'll be heading down to the figurative locker room tonight to show off my new phone. My new, sexy arse Nokia 6230.

I'll thrust it into people's faces and drunkenly annouce
"Fear my phone, and all it's threatening features!!!!"
Wish me luck...

....and by the way I have a new hang out!!! Quite likely the coolest place in this dreary city, filled with cool people just like me! It'a called the Comfortable Chair in Lygon street.

Truly God's country. I'll tell y'all more in just over 48 fun filled hours.





the end.

2 Comments:

Blogger mocushile said...

cool phone... Ilike it...
And hey yes the comfortable chair roccccccccccks

9:22 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

Its the digital age and penis size syndrom just got upgraded.

:)

5:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home