Friday, October 28, 2005

052: NEMESIS

"Dad! Spaghetti is not supposed to be grey!!"
-Angry Nick talks candidly about his father's culinary skills.

It's come to my attention that in the midst of my nice-ness that I seem to be lacking something.
A nemesis.
Someone that I can call an enemy.
Sure there's that dude with the wig at the office.
We wear similar clothes, have similar hair and both own perfect teeth. We're secretly competing for the coveted title of 'hottest guy in the office'. I was validated today when my faux-abs and mini-pecs won our team $300.00. Go me!!
Anyway - back to my need for a nemesis!!
I've been scouring all our new staff for someone to hate, but they're all so deliciously nice and easy going. One of our new guys shared in the shame today and even wore an afro wig (it was a team thing - morale building and such, you know the deal).

A nemesis helps me sharpen my skills. Forces me to think on my feet. I'm always at my best when faced with a challenge, when working with a gun to my head or an impossible deadline. It's the hallmark of a good leader. And every good leader needs a nemesis. Someone of equal skill, strength and ability.

Unfortunately , most of the potential candidates over the last few years have proven too weak, too easy to break, or simply unworthy. For example, around ten months ago, a friend of mine betrayed me in the most unbelievable way. Instead of this person slowly morphing into my perfect enemy, I broke his spirit with several crushing remarks over a slice of cheesecake and half a bottle of red wine.

Guess for now I'll just have to settle for that dude at the office who wears the wig. After being objectified by an angry mob of fellow employees today - let's see you follow that one!
the end.

2 Comments:

Blogger mocushile said...

I dont think u will ever have one just because u have a blissful lovely character.. but

when it comes to look and girls running after u im sure there will be alot of those more than just the dude in the office lol..

Just imagine how many secret enemies I have developed just walking side to side by pimpy boy and how many he has developed walking next to me lol

7:41 AM  
Blogger Slim said...

Yeah but a Nemesis is something different.

It's an EQUAL and OPPOSITE.

Someone just as strong and powerful and smart as you...but...opposite.

And as for enemies of the secret variety, I'm positive there are quite a few.

6:15 PM  

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