Tuesday, November 01, 2005

054: THIS PERSPECTIVE
I've been feeling pretty down lately. Some specific things I guess affecting me. Some non-specific things. The looming threat of Xmas and my birthday in January often send me into freak out mode.

Part of this has to do with my hatred of Christmas. In recent years, it has been unfailingly ruined by certain people. Christmas day is often ridden with fighting, trauma and recriminations.

But last night I was slowly spacing out at my favourite haunt Comfy Chair. Waiting for Trip, with my feet merrily dangling out the front window, I enjoyed the Monday night ambience. Summer is starting in my home town, as it always does this time of year.
The warm weather seems to bring out the playful elements in people, including myself. Also, people wear less in summer.

So I'm sitting there thinking about something that's crossed my mind several times: what a complete failure the last four years of my life have been. How little I have managed to accomplish since leaving school.

I know it' kind of melodramatic. And once again for the sake of all the people who come and try to 'counsel' me, I'm not writing this from a bathtub with razors to my wrists. There's the disclaimer.

Anyways, I got to thinking about the actual events that have formed the months and days which have slowly become the last four years. I'm sure it's a vast tapestry. While I itemised the supposedly tragic events of the last few years - I had a revelation. So here it is.

In the last four years:

I've lived in Brunswick with the bohemians and faux-hemians and laid back street culture. Also there's a great CD store there.

I've fallen in love. Twice.

I've been a supervisor at a multinational evil corporation.

I drive I shiny white car around the city whenever I want, and go wherever I please.

I've been a singer in a rock band, and played to a packed venue full of screaming punters.

I've been a model who gets airbrushed and socialises with other models.

And I've lived in a swanky apartment in St Kilda by the beach and enjoyed the camp pretentiousness that the coastline has to offer.

So while I may not have any of the above right now, I can hardly say that the last few years have been uneventful or unaccomplished. It's all a matter of perspective. At least I've lived.
Which is more than I can say for some of the people I'm surrounded with.
I realise that when it comes to cheesiness, this entry is like an 8 or 9 on the richter scale, but it's not very often that I feel positive about my past.
And all it took was some coffee, some friends, some good weather and a comfortable chair.

the end.

3 Comments:

Blogger izchan said...

Sometimes just the comfortable chair is just enough.

1:38 AM  
Blogger mocushile said...

Comfy chair and friends around u is very good ,let me add a cup of hot milk with a dash of cinamon tres myum

8:48 AM  
Blogger Slim said...

Iz: I'm with you there bud.
Those are wise words.

One day sometime soon, I may quote you on that.

Mocushie: You understand the power of Comfy Chair, and even though I'm lactose intolerant, I'll still sit there with you while you drink your milk :-)

11:13 AM  

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