Saturday, January 14, 2006

072: STAPLER INCIDENT

If I didnt have a stapler - I wouldnt have a problem.

This is what I've been thinking all week. Every time someone takes my stapler I'm pretty much ready to impale someone in the throat. Or stab them through the heart with my car keys. This is apparently why I'm not allowed to have a letter opener for so called "safety reasons".

This is how I am at work.

Once again folks "Jimtitis - the absolute inability to deal with every day circumstances without having a panic attack or lapsing into a catatonic state". This is the serious medical condition I've been dealing with for the past 12 months. It can be both hilarious and debilitating.

So one person in particular (who shall remain nameless) continually takes my stapler without giving it back. Without even asking!

Despite regular threats of violence, this individual continues to remove the stapler from my desk. I have had to pursue other avenues at work, like employing others to guard the stapler, or even watch this person and report on his stapler-stealing movements.

In an attempt to deter the theif, I have updated my infamous 'enemies list' twice in full view of everyone at work.

Stay tuned guys. 2006 looks to be a return to form for me, with my violent urges bubbling to the surface - and my pettiness at an all time high. I'm in the right mood to lock someone in the basement if they take my stapler again.


I hope you're reading this.

5 Comments:

Blogger izchan said...

I too get the same treatment.

but with me its my pen's.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

What is it with office thieves I ask??

I've decided that as a reward to myself on my birthday, I'm gonna help myself to the statioery closet.

It'll be totally karmic, seeing as I've had so much stuff stolen from me!

5:41 AM  
Blogger Denny said...

Slim, have you looked in the stationery closet lately ?? The cupboard is bare. Sorry to be the bearer of such sad tidings (like hell I'm sorry ! This is my sadistic time of year.)

3:10 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

there is an inhirent magnatism to the five finger discount. People just take whatever that is not nailed down.

scratch that, they take what ever they like even if it is nailed down.

if I want thing to stay with me I have to put it into my underwear for protection.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

I didn't take it - :)
But carry on with the rantings, it's all entertaining.

8:16 AM  

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