Monday, February 13, 2006

079: PREDATORY ADVANCES

My bones ache after what ended up being something like a sixteen hour day on Saturday working at the bar as bouncer/door bitch/security guard/barman…oh yes…and keeper of the spider.

I had an amazing time though. Working as part of a moderately attractive team, being behind the bar.
Then hiding behind the bar to fend off the predatory advances of the troupe of teenage strumpets who had set their sights on me. I felt like a hunted animal. My mate Pete was there, but even he could offer only limited protection.

It was probably the most entertaining Saturday night I've had in months, and it's truly given me a new respect for all the underlings who work their fingers to the bone in hospitality every day.
I mean, how often do we spare a thought for the underpaid security guard, or the overworked bartender who has to be home in time to stop her kids from watching the Naked News?
If you're anything like me - probably never. I just want my damn crossaint!
They're there long after the drunken party guests have shoved their bloated corpses into taxis and gone.
Now if I could only go to the gym more and buy an ultra tight black t-shirt, I'd be set for what looks like a possible new career path for me (along with Private Investigator, Police Officer, Musician, Stuntman and Mailboy).
the end.

5 Comments:

Blogger Denny said...

"keepeer of the spider" ? OK, you grabbed my interest, I'm curious ?

5:42 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

There was in incident where a huntsman spider was 'terrorising' the bar staff. I supervised it's extraction (we put it in a glass!)

10:40 AM  
Blogger Denny said...

Well, you're a braver man than I Gungha Din ! Said Bar Staff now of course worship and adore you and have sworn undying allegiance.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

They said I can come back anytime I want cause I have "sex appeal".
The manager thinks I'm good for business.

Fancy that...

5:58 PM  
Blogger Denny said...

I suppose that could explain the predatory tennage strumpets

6:53 PM  

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