Tuesday, March 21, 2006

086: THINGS TO MAKE AND DO

To others, I seem irritatingly comfortable with my own mortality. I dunno - it's always seemed fairly cut n dry to me. I'm alive now, and one day I wont be. Simple as that. With this in mind I feel it important to make a list of things to do before I die. I've divided these things into the following categories:

THINGS DO DO:
- Swim with Hammerhead Sharks.
- Wear Speedos to a job interview.
- Become a Private Investigator.
- Be the boss of my own company.
- Attend a fancy dress party in a Klu Klux Clan Outfit.
- Adopt a kid and call him Hot Rod.
- Bring back cancelled TV Shows (Angel, Millennium, Futurama)
THINGS TO OWN:

- A Chainsaw
- A Crash Test Dummy
- Some sort of handgun
- A leather trench coat.
- Some sort of Dingo.
- A Tuxedo.
- Every single Muse CD ever made.
- A big huge Jesus beard.
- Pecs.
- A house in North Fitzroy.
- A 57' Chevy

THINGS TO HAVE DONE TO ME:

- More piercings
- More tattoos
- Champagne Enema (don’t judge me)
- A decent haircut.
- Get possessed by a Demon while on holiday.

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX:

- Dude with the red pubes (need I say more)
- Fisting (once again, don’t judge me!)

And as a special feature I've Included today's list of humorous words as compiled by Lollie and myself who were both extraordinarily bored at work.

01. Bum
02. Rigorous
03. Dementia
04. Genitals
05. Apple
06. Frankston
07. Boobies
08. Underpants
09. Flammable
10. Discombobulated
11. Bolivia
12. Placenta
the end.

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