Wednesday, March 22, 2006

087: SPIKEY IRISH SHENANIGANS (Part 1)

"Ha ch-ch-cha cha-cha!!!"
-Drunken Irish Leprechaun from The Simpsons

Twelve hours. Twelve fucken hours I drank for this St Patrick's day. It's officially a record!

To me St Paddy's day is not just an excuse to get legless, but it's my name day. And any day named after me warrants raucous celebration.
The plan: To endure hour after hour of senseless drinking, starting in the afternoon and making my way through to the wee hours of the morning like some sort of drunken… errr… person.

Anyway, I decided to get a jump on things, starting at 1:30pm. A chilly afternoon unfolded as Lincoln and I began our quest at Comfy Chair where we met several random sluts (one of which claimed to be a leprechaun). Very Weird.

We then proceeded to a nearby café for food. It was apparent at that point that food would be needed if I was to last the distance.

While Lincoln managed to scare the teenage waitress we were joined by his increasingly superior woman Hrisanthi.

Proceeding to Essendon, we headed to a traditional Irish pub, complete with Guinness tattoos and face painting! (Five days later I still cant get those damn tattoos off!)

In a wire enclosure that extended out onto the street, the Guinness flowed. Angry Nick and Lollie made their appearances and the alcoholica continued until I lost most of my motor control and smoked close to two whole packs of smokes.

After a conversation with my mate Adam, I seriously began to consider a new job as a high rise window cleaner. In my drunken state, being suspended thirty floors above the ground seemed like an awesome idea. It still kinda does. More on this later I guess.

We were joined by Stu and his missus as I tried to hit the brakes with my drinking. I wanted to last longer than 10pm!

Next stop: Brunswick street. Lollie couldn’t join us cause she "had to work" the next day. Still I'm not bitter. On our way there Adam lifted me above his head and spun me round until my belt broke. Not cool. But all in the name of drunken shenanigans!
to be continued.

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