Thursday, April 06, 2006

089: RESIST AND MULTIPLY!

"I hate Jack Black. I want him to die!!!"
- Me. About an hour ago. In a fit of rage.

I reckon George Romero should make a film about people who work in offices.
Today has been somewhat trying with me losing my cool until someone would give me some god damn string or bring me my Ovaltine.
The last few hours have felt like a scene from Dawn of the Dead.
Couple that with the exciting prospect of some major changes at my workplace (like changing teams to be closer to Angry Nick) and the near corpse-like nature of certain people I work with and I'm developing a piercing headache starting at the base of my skull.
I mean really, it's like some people have one foot in the grave. I seem positively hyper active compared to them. It's probably cause I spend most of the day pumped full of sugar, bludging with my mates and using the internal mail system to tell people they are gay.
"Oh I hate this job more than I hate broccoli!"
That was Aaron. He sits next to me for the latter half of the week and complains. A lot. I'm thinking about stabbing him with a hat pin.
Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make!
I cant understand workers who come into work looking as if they've merely stumbled out of a morgue and slapped on a floral dress. They are the living dead. Some days I feel like I'm the extent of human content in this place. The only spark of sarcasm in an otherwise barren wasteland of hate.
Still I don’t let it bother me. Some days I can feel the cynicism creeping in, but most times I'm brave. I'm buoyed by the hope of the next smoke break and the prospect of purchasing new action figures with the money I'm making.
So the moral of my little rant is simply 'resist and multiply'. Think for yourself and don’t let others tell you how the world is.
If you buy into their cheap reheated propaganda, you'll end up like them. Floral dress. Nasty hairpiece. Flaking skin. And not a shred of humanity left in you!!
*shakes fist*
the end

5 Comments:

Blogger mocushile said...

I can understand people whinging about their jobs

I never whinge at my job at work.. only when I finish but in the end .. Im thinking well thats what gets me all the stuff that I want and makes me alive so alas!!!

I whinge with u guys or inside my head... but I take painkillers after talking for an hour to myself tryin to figure out how to enjoy work...

9:37 PM  
Blogger bluemorning said...

slim
you have to explain what caused your one hour hatred of jack black.
so i can add it to my every growing list of actors that i detest beyond words in a dictionary.

10:51 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Moculshile: Yup work is great only for the money aspect. Still I'm fairly sure there are worse places I could be.

Like that box assembling job that I had before this one. That was heaps of fun.

Blue: Jack Black is grotesquely obese. Performs in one of the most annoying bands in the world and continues to use his low brow toilet humour as his one and only selling point. In short - the world would be a better place without him. And Tom Green.

1:30 PM  
Blogger bluemorning said...

slim
okay, so 'black' is obese and 'green' is plain horrible.
let's hope you don't go through all the colours, or else i may be in trouble.

you can also add to the list billy crystal
although i am aware he is not a color. yet.

blue.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Jack Black - cringe!
Tom Green - Hurl!
Tom Cruise - Hari Kari!

Oh, my point... yeah.. hey good looking!

12:14 PM  

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