Tuesday, April 11, 2006

090: COUNTDOWN

A chill runs down my spine. I can feel the air around me slowly getting colder. I remain perfectly still. Fearful that if I move too quickly I may be injured. I don’t speak. My words, though sincere, may cause offence. I'm scared. My skin is clammy and I can feel myself begin to sweat.

"Business days!! Ten business days!! In how many languages do I need to explain this to you!?!?"

You see Lollie is in a mood. Not just any mood, one of her rage filled, man hating, destroy everything in her path moods. Being a red head and a Scorpio, I'm always particularly weary. Angry Nick and I know to run for cover, running from a gathering storm of oestrogen fuelled by the songs of the Spice Girl and a century of male oppression.
What is it about women when they get angry?
They strike fear in my heart so much easier than a man can. I mean, with a man, I'm safe in the knowledge that if the argument gets too heated, I can simply take a swing at him. But not a woman. There's just no right way to hit one.
I think it's because I fear their venomous tongues. Their ability to strip the veneer of my shiny personality and plunge their daggers deep beneath the surface. I don’t hate women at all, but I have to admit, I've learned not to fuck with them.
I blame my mother. And my increasingly spiteful sister. Both of them incredibly empowered people. But at some point they reached overkill.
Without sparking up a debate, this I feel, was one of the inherent problems with the feminist movement. It scared us men. It scared us too much.
But I digress. The point of this blog was not to butch about women. Not at all. Merely to say hell hath no fury like a women scorned. And I'm very afraid.
And where is that boy with my ketchup??

the end.



10 Comments:

Blogger mocushile said...

well ..as a woman I gotta admitt..
we whinge.. sometimes I find myself ranting about rediclous stuff

but hey as my brother hated the fact that he was the only man in the family since my father wasnt brave enough "damnit"

he took the chance to be one of the people why Iam mixed up weither I want to be a woman or man

in a nut shell I am a woman who was brought up playing with Gi joes and He-man!! still has the barbie.. so I aint as dangerous as some women out there

p.s if u ever feel like punching a women or bitching to her
get another woman to do it.... "cat fights" are always fun

11:47 AM  
Blogger izchan said...

I concur on the cat fights.
I can never get myself angry enough to bit a woman.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Mocushile: I'd love to witness you in a cat fight with another woman! That'd be the highlight of my year watching you belt another woman!

Iz: Yup. No way I could hit a woman either dude. Unless it was Kate Cebrano. Or Delta. Or Tina Arena. Wouldnt mind giving her a black eye.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Much has been made of women and their 'moods' - as a woman of many moods, I feel it necessary to enlighten y'all... we have moods because a great many of our emotions are govern by hormones, entirely not our faults. Secondly, we are emotional because we feel, and we embrace those feelings, we don't shirk from them or think we are 'girls' for feeling (like some people do) - and the last thing, and perhaps the most important thing, we have to put up with all sorts of needless, crappy, shitful, hateful, antagonizing turds life throws at us, just like men do -
so yeah, have a great day babe. :)

9:16 AM  
Blogger izchan said...

some say ... one woman feel more of life during one course of mentrations than the life of ten men added together.

Are we so thick that life have to beat us on the head to get our attention? I am not sure. But I do agree that we seldom let life get the better of us, by being distant. Its like a in-build fuse that keeps men sane.

So does that mean, woman are insane? Well ... they tend to deal with the lack of sanity better than us. And truth be told, one has to be insane to love a man like me ... :P

9:22 PM  
Blogger mocushile said...

I agree with mel.. in some points that we deal with all the shit

Men just lay back while women raise kids up and get all the nice gear in them and then men get up and say
YUP THATS MY CHILD... well excuse me !!!just cause u particpated in making him!! doesnt mean he is yours! LOL!!

just like Lions.. they sit on their arses while the female hunts for food then he gets his tooche up and eats..!! whats that all about!...

yet again.. like u slim there are some women that I love to give the black eye and I tell ya these are a disgrace to the human not only the women race .. yeish I could go on forever about it..

2:12 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Kids, both valid point.

I must agree with Iz here as many of the women around me are extraordinary tolerant and accepting of my often juvenile behaviour. I must take an astounding amount of patience!

4:07 PM  
Blogger izchan said...

as it is, it shall be so.

2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second the vote for Delta and her black eye and would like to add to the list if im allowed...

Nikki Webster
Paris Hilton
& Bloody Jessica Simpson

Thats all - over and out

2:48 PM  

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